she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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