I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
