When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
