If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
