i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
