Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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