I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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