You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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