were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im holly from the hills drunk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
