Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
