you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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