4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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