Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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