we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
