yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
