I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
