Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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