what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
