I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
