Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have feelings that need drinking.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
