Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
