its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
