we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
