even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm like, not good at living.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
