if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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