Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You pole danced in your parka.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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