i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
