He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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