i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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