They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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