Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
