Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
