yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I smell stomach acid.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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