You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
