My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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