So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
