I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
