Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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