ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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