yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
