I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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