Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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