I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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