I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
