Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
