If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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