Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you win again, gameday.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
