I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
