My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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