but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
