so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
