our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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