I want to stick my p in your. b.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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